Whatever your income, you’ve probably been in an awkward money situation with friends. Maybe you were planning a group holiday and you wanted to split the cost of a budget Airbnb, while the others wanted to book a bougie hotel.
Maybe you’ve had to turn down a friend’s wedding because you couldn’t afford it, or lend someone money to cover their rent. You’ve almost certainly felt this tension at a restaurant, where bill splitting can be thorny if everyone’s in a different financial position (like that famous Friends scene).
International Friendship Day (30th July) is a great time to reflect on our friendships, and what happens when our bank balance looks starkly different from theirs.
Here’s how to navigate the tricky waters of money and friends.
Embrace empathy and avoid assumptions
Ever planned a group holiday and hesitated to invite someone because you assumed they couldn’t afford it? Drop your assumptions and flip the script. Involve them in the planning process from the get-go. Ask what they’re comfortable spending and plan accordingly. It’s about inclusivity, not assumptions.
You might think you know your friends’ financial situations, but unless you’ve had an open chat about it, you’re likely in the dark. Be empathetic and open-minded.
Mind your money talk
It’s important to have conversations about money with friends, even if they feel awkward at first. Addressing your financial differences openly can prevent misunderstandings and resentment. There are ways to make these discussions less uncomfortable.
If you’re at the upper end of the money divide, be sensitive to others. Suggest activities that suit all budgets and avoid flaunting your wealth. You could say, “Let’s find something fun that works for everyone’s budget,” or “I’m happy to cover this time, and maybe you can choose the next activity.” This is inclusive without making others feel inadequate.
If you have a tighter budget than others right now, be honest about your limits. Say, “I’m watching my spending at the moment, so I might have to skip this one”. Transparency sets expectations and helps you find budget-friendly activities that everyone enjoys.
Open, empathetic communication about money will strengthen your friendship and ensure everyone feels comfortable and included.
Choose inclusive activities
When you’re planning a get-together, think beyond the high-end restaurants and pricey activities. Suggest a picnic in the park, a movie night at home, a potluck instead of a restaurant, or exploring free local attractions like museums. This way, everyone can join in without feeling the pinch.
Next time you’re the social coordinator, ask each friend individually what they’d like to do within their budget. It ensures everyone feels comfortable sharing their true preferences without feeling pressured by the group dynamic.
Use tools to bridge the gap
Splitting bills can be a minefield when everyone’s on a different budget. Using bill-splitting apps can make settling group expenses straightforward and discreet. If someone can only afford to pay for their meal rather than splitting the bill evenly, these tools can adjust what they owe without drawing attention to the disparity.
Support each other’s goals
Friendship is about more than just fun times – it’s also about support and encouragement. Celebrate each other’s wins, whether it’s landing a new job, achieving a personal milestone, or hitting a financial goal. This fosters a positive environment and stops envy or resentment from creeping in.
When a friend reaches a financial milestone, like paying off debt or starting a new venture, show genuine enthusiasm. Similarly, share your achievements and let your friends celebrate with you. It’s this mutual encouragement that strengthens your bond.
At RiseUp, we believe financial wellbeing is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships. This International Friendship Day, why not share these tips with your friends? Open up the conversation about money, plan inclusive activities and support each other’s goals.
Remember, friendship matters more than money. Cheers to friendships that stand the test of time – and budgets!
